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You can’t help but to feel left out when all of your friends are married and/or having kids, and you’re still swiping on online dating apps while watching The Bachelor on ABC. Let’s be honest. Dating was rough before 2020 hit. Even when in-person meetings were normal, it was hard to find your soulmate.
This year, it felt hopeless, even impossible, to meet someone, let alone sustain a long-term relationship. However, I managed to find love in the time of coronavirus, and I’d like to pass along some advice to those of you who are still looking.
1. It’s okay to feel lonely, especially during the holidays.
There’s a reason that cuffing season occurs around this time of year. The weather gets colder, and there are fewer things to keep your mind and body occupied. If you’re like me, you spent most of your fall and winter sitting at home alone watching Hallmark Christmas movies while scrolling through happy family portraits on social media. However, that doesn’t mean that you should invite home the next person you meet, which brings me to my second point.
2. One-night stands are no longer cool.
COVID-19 tests are the new STD tests, and even they are not 100% reliable. Each time you have a one-night stand, you not only put yourself but also everyone you come into contact with at risk. Case in point: a swingers convention in New Orleans that went through “extraordinary measures” to try to ensure the safety of attendees later became a superspreader event. That shows that not even a touchless check-in process, required temperature checks, social distancing, required masks, and sanitization can prevent a deadly virus.
3. Video dates are awkward at first, but they get better.
Instead of those risky in-person meetings, you may want to try a video date for your first couple of meetings. Video dates may feel weird at first because you’re literally talking to a stranger on a screen with nothing to carry your date except for your conversation. However, it gives you both a chance to ask questions and dig deep into the things that are important to you. If you’re with someone compatible, the conversation will flow naturally. And, if the conversation sucks, you can always “end” the call early. Zoom is a good app to use for its unlimited 1:1 meetings, and dating apps like Hinge have stepped it up with their own in-app video calls.
4. Self-reflection is important.
Dating fatigue is real, and if you’re going on one date after another with no success, you may want to step back and take some time to self-reflect. Ask yourself the hard questions, including what you want in a future partner and what is preventing yourself from realizing your full potential. Are there walls or barriers you’re putting up on dates to keep yourself from getting hurt?
5. Have fun with it!
When you’re ready to get back in the game, make sure you’re going in with a positive attitude. I know it’s 2020 and sometimes it can be difficult to see the silver lining, but no one wants to go on a date with someone who whines and complains about everything all the time. When you see the glass as half full, not only are you better company but even a bad date can be a good experience. Best of luck to you on your dating journey!
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